New Delhi-Prime Minister Narendra Modi on Friday cited several incidents, including the Godhra train fire and terror attacks in Gujarat, to describe how he tries to detach himself from his emotions to overcome anxiety.In a podcast with Zerodha co-founder Nikhil Kamath, Modi was asked if he ever faced anxiety.”A lot of youngsters these days say they face anxiety…Have you faced it in your life,” Kamath asked the prime minister.”Definitely such situations arise…But everyone has different style and capacity to face such situations,” Modi replied.
“I am in a position in which I have to detach myself from emotions, and the natural tendencies human beings have…I have to rise above it,” he said.”Like in 2002, there were elections in Gujarat. It was the biggest test of my life… I was not watching TV, at noon I heard sounds of drums outside my house. I had told people not to tell me about the results till noon…then I was sent a letter that we are ahead.
“I don’t think it had any effect on me, whether you call it restlessness or anxiety…but there was a thought to overpower it,” Modi said.”Once there were blasts at five places… Imagine my situation as the chief minister. I said I wanted to go to the police control room, but my security denied saying it is risky. I insisted that I will go. I went and sat in the car, and said I will go to the hospital first. They said there were blasts in hospitals too, but I insisted that I will go. You can say there was anxiety, restlessness in me. But my way was to be totally involved in my mission, a sense of responsibility takes over,” he said.
Modi also recalled the Godhra train fire incident of 2002 in which many karsevaks returning from Ayodhya were killed.”On February 24 2002, I became an MLA for the first time. On February 27, I went to the assembly for the first time. I was three-days old as an MLA and the Godhra incident happened. I was restless, I was worried, I was in the House… I said I want to go to Godhra. I suggested that we will go to Vadodara, and take a helicopter from there. They said there is no helicopter and I asked them to find one…” Modi recalled.
“There was one chopper of ONGC, but it was a single-engine one. They said they can’t take a VIP in that…I said I am not a VIP but a common man, I will go by a single-engine helicopter…and I reached Godhra,” he said.”It was a painful sight. There were dead bodies everywhere, but I knew I am at a post where I have to rise above my emotions. I tried to keep myself together,” he said.