Satire-Official Press Release
Subject: Launch of the Revolutionary Charhdikala Fund
The Government of Punjab is delighted to announce the launch of a brand-new initiative that nobody asked for but everybody must donate to: the Charhdikala Fund!
This fund will work exactly like the PM CARES Fund, except with more Punjabi tadka. Yes, you read it right—no RTI, no questions, no audits. In short: donate happily, forget quickly.
Key Features of the Fund:
Transparency Guarantee: We guarantee that you will see no transparency. In fact, the less you know, the happier you will be.
Management: The fund will be managed by hand-picked loyalists of Shri Arvind Kejriwal ji—people so loyal, they clap even when Wi-Fi disconnects during his speeches.
Eligibility: Citizens of Punjab are highly encouraged to donate. Benefits may or may not reach you, but your money will surely reach somewhere.
Comparison: Just like PM CARES, the fund is above RTI, above accountability, and above logic. Truly, uparwala hi jaane where the money goes.
Audit Policy: The fund will be self-audited by the same people who run it. Think of it as “student checking their own exam paper.”
Why a New Fund?
Because Punjab already has a Chief Minister’s Relief Fund… but that one had rules, audits, and paperwork. And who likes paperwork? This fund, on the other hand, is paperwork-free, question-free, and stress-free—for us, not you.
How to Donate:
Simple! Just trust us blindly, like you trusted your cousin who said he’d return your loan “next week.”
Slogan:
Charhdikala Fund – Jitna daalo, utna bhool jao.
We thank the people of Punjab for their generosity, patience, and for not asking too many questions. Remember, your contribution keeps our spirits rising—even if your hopes don’t.
Signed,
Office of the Fund (Location: Delhi, but don’t tell anyone)