Every year, thousands of young women from Punjab, Haryana, Gujarat, and other parts of South Asia board international flights to Canada, the United Kingdom, the United States, Australia, Germany, and other Western nations. They carry degrees, ambitions, and the weight of their family’s hopes on their shoulders. Some go for higher studies. Others go as brides, joining husbands they may have met only briefly before marriage. In both cases, the transition that awaits them is far more complex than any visa application or admission letter could suggest.
For the family left behind, the farewell at the airport is a moment of pride mixed with deep worry. The parents who raised these daughters in close-knit communities, surrounded by relatives, local customs, and known networks of support, now must trust that their daughters will be safe in cities and countries they have never visited, with systems and laws they do not fully understand. This article is written for both — the daughter who is going, and the family who is staying — so that both may be better prepared for what lies ahead.
Western countries offer many genuine opportunities: world-class education, professional growth, personal freedom, and the possibility of a more financially secure future. Yet these same environments carry risks that are poorly understood back home. The more clearly families understand the full picture, both the possibilities and the dangers, the better equipped they will be to support their daughters through every stage of this journey.
2. Going for Education: Opportunities and Realities
The Promise of Western Education
Universities and colleges in Canada, the UK, the US, and Australia are genuinely excellent. A degree from a recognised institution in these countries opens doors in India and internationally. For daughters who study diligently, the academic environment can be transformative, exposing them to new fields, research opportunities, diverse classmates, and ways of thinking that broaden their horizons far beyond what was available at home.
Beyond academics, living independently abroad builds a kind of resilience and self-reliance that is hard to acquire any other way. Young women who navigate foreign transport systems, manage their own budgets, cook for themselves, and solve problems without immediate family support often emerge from the experience with confidence and capability that serve them for life. These are real and lasting gifts.
The Financial Reality
Education in Western countries is expensive — often extraordinarily so. Tuition fees for international students at Canadian universities can range from CAD 25,000 to 60,000 per year. UK universities charge international students between GBP 15,000 and 40,000 annually. In the United States, costs can exceed USD 50,000 per year at private universities. When you add housing, food, transport, books, and living expenses, the total cost of a two or three-year programme can easily reach 50 to 80 lakhs of rupees or more.
Many families take out loans, sell land, or exhaust savings to fund this investment. This creates enormous financial pressure on both the student and the family. Daughters often feel the weight of this sacrifice deeply and may take on part-time work to help manage expenses. It is important that families understand these financial realities clearly before committing, and that they research the actual employment prospects in the chosen field before investing. Not all degrees from Western colleges lead to good jobs, and the immigration pathways are changing constantly.
Predatory Institutions and Education Agents
A serious problem that has emerged in recent years is the proliferation of low-quality private colleges in Canada, the UK, and Australia that specifically target international students from South Asia. These institutions charge high fees, offer programmes of little academic or professional value, and in some cases have had their accreditation revoked or their visa sponsorship withdrawn. Students who enrolled in good faith have found themselves stranded — their studies interrupted, their visas invalidated, and their money lost.
Education agents in India who recruit students for these institutions are often paid commissions by the colleges themselves and may not disclose this conflict of interest. Families must independently verify the standing and reputation of any institution before paying fees or applying for student loans. Always check the official government websites of the destination country for the list of recognised and accredited institutions. If an agent is pushing you toward a specific college without clear explanation of why, ask hard questions.
Loneliness and Mental Health
One of the most underreported challenges faced by South Asian students abroad is acute loneliness. Young women who have grown up in close, communal households suddenly find themselves in small apartments, eating alone, studying alone, and navigating social environments where they may feel culturally out of place. The pressure to perform academically while managing homesickness, financial stress, and cultural isolation can be overwhelming.
Mental health support services exist at most Western universities and are generally free for enrolled students. However, many South Asian students do not use them because of the stigma attached to mental health issues in our communities, or because they feel they must appear strong and grateful given the sacrifices their families made. Parents must make it explicitly and repeatedly clear to their daughters that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and that they will not be judged for struggling.
3. Going for Marriage: What Families Must Know
The Landscape of Overseas Marriage
For many South Asian families, the opportunity to marry a daughter to a resident or citizen of a Western country is seen as a major achievement — a way to secure her financial future and elevate the family’s social standing. NRI grooms are often highly prized in the matrimonial market, and families sometimes accept matches with very limited information about the man, his actual circumstances, or his character, because the lure of a foreign address is so powerful.
This eagerness, understandable as it is, has led to a great deal of suffering. Young women have arrived in foreign countries to discover that their husband’s claims about his lifestyle, employment, immigration status, and character were exaggerated or entirely false. Some women have found themselves in genuinely dangerous situations — isolated, controlled, and abused — with no idea how to access help in an unfamiliar country. Understanding the specific risks of overseas marriages, and how to protect against them, is one of the most important things a family can do.
Verify Before You Commit
Before any marriage is finalised with an NRI groom, the family should take concrete steps to verify the information provided. Ask for official proof of immigration status — whether he holds permanent residency or citizenship, or is on a temporary work visa. This matters enormously because if the marriage breaks down while she is on a dependent visa, her right to remain in the country may depend entirely on her husband. Check his employment claims by asking for pay slips or employment letters. Speak with people who know him in the country where he lives — not just his relatives, but colleagues, friends, or community members.
Many Indian states have online portals where families can check if a person has a previous marriage registered in India. Use these tools. If the family is in a position to travel to the country before the wedding to meet the groom in his own environment and speak with people who know him there, that is by far the most reliable form of verification. Do not let social pressure, embarrassment, or the fear of appearing distrustful stop you from doing your due diligence. Your daughter’s safety is worth any temporary awkwardness.
Dependent Visa Trap
One of the most dangerous situations a newly married woman can find herself in abroad is being on a dependent spouse visa that ties her immigration status entirely to her husband. In this situation, if the marriage becomes abusive, the woman may be terrified to leave or report the abuse because she fears deportation. This fear is deliberately exploited by abusive husbands who remind their wives, often and cruelly, that if they call the police or try to leave, they will be sent back to India in disgrace.
Families must understand that in most Western countries — Canada, the UK, the US, Australia — there are legal pathways for victims of domestic abuse to remain in the country even if they are on dependent visas. In the UK, for instance, the Domestic Violence Rule allows victims to apply for indefinite leave to remain. In Canada, victims of abuse can apply for permanent residence on compassionate grounds. Daughters must be informed of these protections before they leave India, so they know that they are not entirely powerless even in the worst circumstances.
4. Domestic Violence: Understanding, Recognising, and Escaping
The Reality Within Our Own Communities
Domestic violence occurs in all communities worldwide, but South Asian women who have emigrated to Western countries face a particular set of vulnerabilities that can make their situations especially dangerous. Research conducted in the UK, Canada, and Australia consistently shows that South Asian immigrant women are disproportionately affected by domestic abuse and are less likely than other groups to report it or seek help. Understanding why this is so, and what can be done about it, is urgent.
The factors that increase vulnerability include: immigration status tied to the abusive partner, lack of English language proficiency, geographic isolation from family and support networks, financial dependence on the abuser, fear of community judgment and family shame, lack of knowledge about legal rights and available services, and a cultural expectation that marital problems must be kept private. Some women are also subject to pressure from their in-laws who may participate in or enable the abuse.
Forms of Domestic Abuse
Physical violence is the most visible form of abuse but not always the most common. Domestic abuse also includes emotional and psychological abuse — constant criticism, humiliation, threats, and manipulation. It includes financial abuse — controlling all money, refusing to allow the woman to work, or leaving her without access to funds for food or necessities. It includes social isolation — restricting contact with family and friends, monitoring phone calls, and preventing any independent activity. And it includes sexual coercion and abuse within the marriage.
Controlling behaviour is often the pattern that appears before physical violence escalates. If a husband insists on knowing her location at all times, reads her messages, forbids her from having her own bank account, does not allow her to speak with her parents freely, or humiliates her in front of others, these are serious warning signs. A daughter should feel empowered to talk to her family back home about these behaviours, and her family should take such reports seriously rather than advising her to adjust and compromise.
What to Do in a Dangerous Situation
If a daughter finds herself in a situation of domestic abuse, the most important first step is to reach out for help — to emergency services, to a local women’s shelter, or to specialist South Asian support organisations that exist in most major Western cities. In the United Kingdom, organisations such as Southall Black Sisters and Karma Nirvana provide specialist support to South Asian women. In Canada, organisations like Apna Ghar, CEASE, and Punjabi Community Health Services offer culturally sensitive help. In the United States, Manavi and Sakhi for South Asian Women are among the organisations that provide support.
Every daughter going abroad should be given, before she leaves, a written list of emergency contacts including the local emergency number (999 in UK, 911 in US and Canada, 000 in Australia), the national domestic violence helpline of the country, and the contact details of at least one specialist South Asian support organisation in her city. This information should be saved in her phone and also kept written down somewhere the abuser cannot find it. She should also know the address of the nearest women’s shelter, which will take her in without her needing to make an appointment or provide documents.
For Families Back Home
When a daughter calls home in distress, the response of the family is absolutely critical. Too often, families respond to reports of abuse by telling their daughter to be patient, to consider the family’s honour, to try harder to please her husband, or to think of how it will look if she leaves. This response, however well-intentioned, can trap a woman in a dangerous situation and has in many cases contributed to tragedies that could have been prevented.
Families must make a clear and unconditional commitment that their daughter’s safety comes before everything else — before social reputation, before the money spent on the wedding, before the opinion of the community. She must know, without any doubt, that if she leaves an abusive marriage, she will be welcomed home with open arms and without blame. This assurance must be given proactively, before she ever needs it, so that she has the psychological strength to act when the time comes.
5. Legal Rights of Women in Western Countries
Canada
Canada has strong legal protections for women against domestic violence. Assault, including by a spouse, is a criminal offence. Victims can apply for emergency protection orders that require the abuser to leave the home and have no contact with the victim. Immigration status does not prevent a woman from calling the police or accessing services. Permanent residents and citizens who are victims of abuse retain their immigration status regardless of whether the marriage continues. Women on temporary dependent visas may apply for permanent residence on humanitarian and compassionate grounds. Legal aid is available for those who cannot afford a lawyer.
United Kingdom
In the United Kingdom, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 provides a comprehensive legal framework protecting victims of abuse. Coercive and controlling behaviour is a criminal offence. Victims can apply for Domestic Violence Protection Notices and Orders through the police and courts. The Domestic Violence Rule in immigration law allows a woman whose immigration status depends on her partner to apply for indefinite leave to remain if the marriage has broken down due to domestic violence. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline operates 24 hours and can help connect victims with local shelters and legal advice. Specialist services for South Asian women include Southall Black Sisters and Karma Nirvana.
United States
In the United States, domestic violence laws vary by state but all states criminalise domestic violence and provide for protective orders. Importantly for immigrant women, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) allows victims of domestic abuse who are married to US citizens or permanent residents to self-petition for immigration status without the knowledge or cooperation of their abuser. This is a critical protection. Women should be aware of this law before they travel. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) operates 24 hours and has multilingual support.
Australia
Australia has strong domestic violence protections at both federal and state levels. All states provide for apprehended domestic violence orders (ADVOs) or similar protection orders. Australia’s immigration law includes provisions for family violence that allow victims on dependent visas to apply for permanent residence if they have suffered domestic violence. The 1800RESPECT helpline (1800 737 732) provides 24-hour support for people affected by family violence.
6. Cultural Shock and Identity
One of the profound and often unexpected challenges of living in a Western country is the experience of cultural disorientation — a sense of being caught between two worlds, belonging fully to neither. South Asian women who emigrate carry within them values, customs, and ways of being that were shaped by their upbringing, and they arrive in environments where many of these values are different or actively challenged.
Questions of dress, diet, religious practice, gender roles, and social behaviour can become sources of daily tension — both externally, as women navigate different social expectations at college or in the workplace, and internally, as they negotiate between what they were raised to believe and what they see and experience around them. This is not a failure of character or loyalty. It is a natural and universal human response to living between cultures, and it is something that virtually every immigrant experiences.
The key to navigating this transition with integrity is open communication — with family, with trusted friends, and with oneself. A daughter should feel free to evolve her understanding of the world without this being interpreted as rejection of her family or her heritage. Parents, in turn, should remain genuinely curious and open to hearing about their daughter’s experiences, even when those experiences challenge their assumptions. The relationship between a parent and a daughter living abroad must be one of trust and dialogue, not control and suspicion.
7. Loneliness, Mental Health and Building Community
The mental health of South Asian women living abroad is a serious and underaddressed issue. Studies in the UK and Canada have found significantly elevated rates of depression, anxiety, and social isolation among South Asian immigrant women compared to the general population. The causes are multiple and interconnected: distance from family, cultural adjustment, discrimination and racism, economic stress, and in many cases, the burden of keeping up appearances of success and happiness even when struggling deeply.
Building a community network abroad is not optional — it is essential. Most major Western cities have active South Asian cultural organisations, Gurdwaras, temples, mosques, and community centres that serve as gathering points for immigrants from South Asia. Connecting with these communities can provide friendship, cultural continuity, practical advice from more experienced immigrants, and a sense of belonging that is crucial to psychological wellbeing.
Parents back home can help by maintaining regular and warm communication — not just asking about studies or work, but genuinely asking how their daughter is feeling, what her daily life is like, and whether she is happy. Video calls that feel like real conversations rather than check-ins or interrogations make an enormous difference to a young woman who is struggling with loneliness. Being told that she is loved, that she is doing well, and that her family is proud of her costs nothing and means everything.
8. Financial Independence: A Non-Negotiable
One of the most important pieces of practical advice for any daughter going abroad — whether for study or for marriage — is the absolute necessity of maintaining financial independence. A woman who has no access to her own money, who does not know how to open a bank account, who has never managed her own finances, is in a uniquely vulnerable position if her circumstances change.
Every daughter going abroad should, before or immediately after arrival, open a bank account in her own name. She should have a small personal emergency fund — even if only a few hundred dollars or pounds — that is accessible only to her. She should know how to apply for government benefits in an emergency. If she is a student, she should be aware of the part-time work rights that her student visa allows. If she is a married woman, she should understand the family’s finances, have access to at least some joint funds, and not be entirely dependent on her husband for every penny.
Financial abuse — controlling money as a means of control — is one of the most common forms of domestic abuse and one of the most effective barriers to leaving an abusive situation. A daughter who has her own resources is a daughter who retains the ability to make choices, and that ability is priceless.
9. Safety Tips: Practical Guidance
Before departure, every daughter should prepare a personal safety kit: copies of all important documents (passport, visa, degree certificates, marriage certificate if applicable) stored both digitally in a secure email account and physically in a safe location at home in India. She should have the phone numbers of the Indian High Commission or Consulate in the country she is going to, the local emergency number, and at least two trusted contacts in the destination city — ideally people already established there.
Once abroad, she should share her home address, workplace, and daily routine with her family. She should have a regular check-in schedule with family back home — a time each week when she calls or messages, and an understanding that if she misses this check-in without explanation, her family will try to reach her by other means. In the era of smartphones, sharing live location with trusted family members is a simple and reassuring precaution.
In universities and workplaces, she should know the location of the student welfare office, the HR department, or the campus safety service. She should know that in most Western countries, speaking to the police or social services will not automatically result in deportation, and that these services are generally available to all residents regardless of immigration status. She should not allow fear of immigration consequences to stop her from seeking help in an emergency.
10. A Message to Families
To the mothers and fathers who are reading this: your love for your daughters is the most powerful resource they have. More than money, more than contacts, more than any piece of advice — knowing that their family stands behind them unconditionally gives a young woman the strength to face whatever comes her way. And the world they are entering can be hard.
Give your daughters information before they leave. Tell them about their legal rights. Discuss domestic violence openly and without shame. Make sure they have emergency numbers. Make sure they have their own bank account. Tell them that no marriage, no social reputation, and no family pride is worth their safety or their life. Say these things clearly and without embarrassment, because the clarity of that message may one day save her life.
Stay in their lives after they leave. Call them not just to check on their work or studies but to ask how they are truly feeling. Listen without judgement. Welcome them home when things are hard, and celebrate with them when things are good. Your daughter is still your daughter, no matter how many miles lie between you. That relationship is the anchor that will keep her steady in every storm.
11. A Message to Daughters
To the daughters who are reading this, or who will one day read it: you are braver than you know. The step you are taking — leaving everything familiar to build a life in a new country — requires courage that most people never need to find. Be proud of that courage, and be kind to yourself on the hard days.
Know your rights. In every country you go to, you have rights as a person — rights to safety, to dignity, to help in an emergency. These rights do not depend on your visa category, your marital status, or whether your husband approves. Learn what those rights are before you need them, and do not be afraid to use them.
Stay connected to your family and to yourself. The pressures to assimilate, to perform happiness, to succeed, to be everything to everyone, can make you lose sight of who you are. Your culture, your language, your values — these are not weaknesses in a Western world. They are part of what makes you whole. Carry them with you, and build bridges between them and everything new you are learning.
And finally: you are not alone. Wherever you are going, there are other women from your part of the world who have walked the same path before you. Find them. Support them. Learn from them. The sisterhood of South Asian women abroad is one of the most remarkable communities in the world, and it is yours to belong to.