Choosing one’s life partner is a deeply personal decision, and many young women today value the freedom to marry by choice. This right must be respected, as love, consent, and mutual understanding are the foundation of any healthy relationship, not just marriage. However, it is also a reality that some girls, despite choosing their own partners, later find themselves trapped in unhappy or even miserable marriages. Recognising this truth is not an attack on independence, but a call for greater awareness and wisdom.
Love alone is not always enough to sustain a marriage. Before taking such a life-changing step, it is essential to consider factors beyond emotions and attraction. A partner’s character, values, respect for women, attitude towards family, financial responsibility, and emotional maturity matter far more in the long run. Many relationships fail not because love disappears, but because basic compatibility, trust, and mutual respect were ignored in the excitement of the moment.
Girls should take time to truly know their partner, especially how he behaves during conflict, stress, or disagreement. How a person treats others—parents, siblings, friends, or even strangers—often reflects how he will treat his spouse after marriage. Warning signs such as controlling behaviour, disrespect, anger issues, dishonesty, or lack of responsibility should never be overlooked or excused in the name of love.
It is equally important to involve trusted elders or well-wishers in the decision. Guidance from parents or experienced family members does not mean surrendering freedom; it means benefiting from their life experience. Many elders see risks that young people, blinded by emotion, may miss. Listening does not mean obeying blindly, but it does mean reflecting seriously.
Financial independence and education are powerful safeguards. Girls should ensure they are emotionally and economically prepared for marriage. Depending entirely on a partner can make it difficult to leave a harmful or unhappy situation later. Self-reliance provides confidence, dignity, and security.
Marriage is not an escape, a rebellion, or a solution to temporary problems. It is a lifelong responsibility that demands patience, compromise, and strength. Choosing a partner should be done with calm judgment, not pressure, fear, or haste. A wise decision today can prevent years of silent suffering tomorrow.
Finally, society must support girls—not judge them—whether they marry by choice or tradition. At the same time, girls must protect themselves by choosing carefully. Freedom comes with responsibility, and true empowerment lies in making informed, thoughtful decisions that lead to a life of respect, peace, and dignity.